Lessons & Lemonade

Lessons & Lemonade

Confession time: I’m addicted to my mobile phone. There, I said it. It soaks up far too much time every single day and I’ve been trying to wean myself off it for weeks but to no avail. Epic fail.

So yesterday, when I finally succumbed to the barrage of messages telling me to update my IOS software, I duly plugged into iTunes to do the deed. My iBaby was connected to the mothership. It backed up (good), it extracted my existing software (didn’t feel a thing), and then it died. Died. Shit!

A casual, yet panic-invoking message of ‘Error, cannot restore this iphone’ popped up and my stomach turned. Couldn’t be possible, let’s just re-run the process, iphones don’t fail. Make a coffee. Nothing. Dead as a Dodo. Shit, shit, shit! We don’t have a landline these days so I couldn’t even phone The Husband for support, or for a general panic-whinge. Not very Feral at all, and as I write this I’m giving myself a virtual slap.

Once I step away from the MAC, no text, no social media, no email, no instagram picture p*rn, no MyFitnessPal (latest fad). But most of all – no camera. Yes I know I’m a photographer, but I didn’t realise just how many pictures I snap (or just look at) every single day. I felt my life blood drain (flounce a bit more lol).

To cut a long story short, the phone will be sorted and replaced – and luckily my pictures are safely stored.
But 24 hours in (and likely to be another 24 hours before replaced), I have a weird feeling of relief and freedom!

I’d forgotten what life was like before we’re on 24-hour call for work, 24-hour connection with the outside world, and 24-hour connection to general noise. Addiction. I do miss Instagram a bit – all of the creative stimulus without the drama of FB – but I like the sense of unexpected freedom more.
My ‘Feral’ has just given me a massive kick up the arse.

So…clearly I wasn’t listening hard enough. I was failing at helping myself, so some greater force stepped in. God, the universe, fate, call it what you will but I’m choosing to see this as a helping hand and a very positive lesson too.

Some would say my phone was out of contract and this was just a ploy to force me into a new phone/sign-your-life-and-privacy-away-contract, which I appreciate is quite likely, but I’m choosing an alternative and more positive view!

Last night I was moaning that my ‘one day this week’ I could go and do something I wanted was ruined. I flounced. Today, I’m thinking of all the things I can still do – mostly all of them outdoors and far more worthwhile. Work is up to date – the world won’t stop turning if I’m out for a day. Or two.

The weather is beautiful, crispy cold, the winter sun is shining and we have a sprinkling of snow forecast. All the best things about winter.
So once a few emails are done (and a blog post done to share this lesson!) I’m heading out to the forest, to a spot where there are beautiful horses to photograph. I know I’ll come back with rosie cheeks, hat hair and stinking of horse, with moss on my jeans and a glow in my heart having gone wild for just a day.

A valuable and timely reminder to disconnect and reconnect with what’s important has been delivered. An afternoon in nature, in fresh winter light will restore more than my phone, for sure. And I’ll be all the better for it when I have to return.

I’ve been meaning to do this for weeks, but work, life, noise, FB has all got in the way. So while iTunes gave me lemons, I am, as they say, making lemonade and to celebrate I’m going to stick a hefty gin in it Feral-stylie!

Let’s listen always, and in all ways. Life often tries to tell you something – but our hearts, minds and ears need to be open. And generally, it helps if our phones are off, or at least away. And people, back up your pictures!!!!!

TFW xx

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